HOME SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVES CHARACTERS ERIK'S JOURNAL AUTHOR POLLS NEWS LINKS SUPPORT
<<FIRST <PREVIOUS NEXT> LAST>>
So many choices, so little time... and one of them looks like Veronica Lodge. It was not intentional. Actually, I tried to avoid it.
Your Midtoon Comic Strip for May 13, 2009
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Don't miss out on Midtoon. Receive every strip article and special feature in your mailbox by sending an email to |
Please Visit Our Sponsors
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Viotex Corp. to Patent Genetic Therapy The Midtoon Herald, May 13, 2009 Biotechnology giant Viotex announced today that it has developed a new treatment for death. In a press conference this morning, the company announced a very expensive new treatment that guarantees that the recipient will never die (certain restrictions apply, treatment may not be available in all areas, not valid with any other offer, not redeemable for cash) The new Genetic therapy will work by delaying the onset of death by 3 milliseconds for each thousand dollars of therapy, but it is not known to work on individuals who may suffer from a major cause of death. According to a source close to he company, the FDA has not granted the approval of the treatment, because the side effects are still under scrutiny. The use of the therapy may cause blindness, heart attack, sudden death, depression and a very bothersome itch inside the ear canal. Also, once you begin the genetic therapy, suspending it will cause disintegration of the brain. "We expect that the FDA will approve our therapy as soon as possible," said the press release. "We have invested millions of dollars in lobbyists and campaign contributions, so we know the treatment will be approved." This reporter is calculating how much money it will take to extend her life by one year... Aww! Complicated math! Copyright (C) 2009, Disassociated Press. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
